Climb Towards the Faith in Yourself

Much can be learned from Miley Cyrus.

Sure, she's a 16 year old child who is just figuring out the world, but she's doing it in the public eye and so far (fingers crossed) is doing so with more character and grace than most of her teenage superstar predecessors (ie: the Britster/Lohan/Ricci train wreck extravaganza).

In Miley's new song "Climb" she sings lyrics of wisdom, strength, a positive attitude towards learning from mistakes, and believing in oneself through the rough terrain of climbing life's mountain. Maybe she had no part in writing these lyrics, wise beyond her years, but the conviction and passion with which she belts out the crescendos makes me a believer. It makes me want to keep trying, keep my head held high. Because Miley is right on the money (the millions she holds in her pubescent bank account) - not all of our decisions will be in our own best interest, and sometimes when taking risks we're going to lose, but its about learning from those mistakes and climbing forward towards whatever life has to offer. Above all, "keep the faith baby, keep your faith."

Quality Friends Lead to a Quality Life - Kinda makes me want to say Duh!

While reading the NY Times today I came across an article that justified a statement that I've strongly believed in for years - your friends can save your life.

And not just in the 'when its 3 in the morning and my boyfriend cheated on me my best friend saved my life' type way. Apparently, having a close knit set of friends can help overall health to a significant degree, anywhere from fighting off the common cold to providing a much higher chance of surviving cancer. Studies have shown that a close social circle in one's life, regardless of how often they get together or proximity to one another, can help a person stave off disease and even live a longer life. Plus, while standing next to a close friend even a steep mountain doesn't seem as tall. Ain't that the truth.

So the next time you feel guilty for spending an hour of your day chatting with a close friend remind yourself that you're doing it for your own longevity. And drinks with the girls? Well that's your new health care regimen! For proof visit:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/21/health/21well.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper

Sauv Blanc in the Sunshine

The air was breezy, smelling of meats cooking over flame - as nostalgic as the scent of the ocean or a warm apple pie cooling in the window. A dog, his nose perked and sniffing, tensely sat at attention waiting for a morsel to drop. Smack talk shouted from the badminton court amused those sitting with paper plates perched on their knees. It was the first BBQ of the season.

This pleasant afternoon of friends and warm weather generally provides the perfect excuse for two favored forms of gluttony - booze and food. Sure there were bottles of Captain and Bombay, pitchers of Sangria, reds, whites, and beers and everyone was looking forward to letting loose for an afternoon. There were burgers, ribs, and veggies from the grill, bags of processed snack foods coated in neon orange "cheese," salads of the potato and pasta varieties all waiting to be consumed in mass quantities. Rules were thrown out the window, it's an excuse to party right? Just as every Holiday cocktail party means a break from the norm, every birthday, anniversary, Labor, Memorial and Guy Fox Day, Friday happy hour, Monday happy hour, and hell - Wendnes "hump" day happy hour deserve a lax in the parameters and a break from commitments. It's a special occasion right?

Nobody enjoys the afternoon cocktail more than me; for some reason margaritas taste more 'rita-y in the daylight and Coronas were obviously made to be consumed with a lime in the bottle and sunglasses on the nose. So yesterday, with crisp, fruity Sauvignon Blanc calling my name, I said why not? It's a special occasion right? I had a glass. I enjoyed it and appreciated every sip. And then I switched to diet coke and water for the rest of the afternoon. I helped myself to some veggies and a meat-free burger, and subtly sat on the other side of the patio from the bags of never ending chips and Cheetos. I participated in the games, and laughed, and boogied to the music, and said goodbye without the curse of the afternoon cocktail - the evening hangover. I drove home with my wits about me, clear headed and pleasantly pooped instead of wishing that 7pm didn't seem like an appropriate bedtime.

Had I not had so much practice in the last 4 months building up my will power yesterday afternoon may have been filled with inner arguments about how many drinks is too many, and when to remove myself from coveted spot next to the snack table. But I enjoyed yesterday as someone who was comfortable in the decisions I'd made and didn't question them as if I had the option. I ate mindfully, out of hunger instead of nerves. I chose the one drink I truly wanted and had my treat for the afternoon, choosing to enjoy it instead of gulping one plastic cup down so I could go for another. And then I joined in the badminton game - truly perfecting the art of smack talk and breathing in the scents of summer, sober and satisfied.

It's Hard To Be A Genius...But Somebody's Got To Do It

I wrote a post a few months back about ways to squeeze extra calorie burn into your days...and huzzah! I've been vindicated! Check out this article that basically gives the same advice as I so wisely imparted on my vast expanse of readers.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/5906-everyday-activities-that-can-burn/?utm_source=aprnewsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=090414

Dancing around, climbing some stairs, cleaning with vigor, even shopping with intent all make the list. So take a refresher course if you'd like on simple ways to squeeze a workout into your already packed day and feel as great as I do that I, once again, was right!

In This Scenario Fear Is A Conservative Nun...

For some people fear is a motivator. It can encourage risks, and excitement, and unrelenting exploration because some people simply don't like to be told no - and fear is often the conservative nun behind her desk rapping her ruler and saying "no, you can't do that." Now, nobody LIKES the conservative nun, but some people sit still and say "yes ma'am" while others jump up from their desks and stare the nun down in defiance.

I've never actually met a conservative nun, but I am reluctantly discovering more and more that I am of the former group. I have lived my life in the safe place, at home in the comfort zone. I have never particularly challenged myself to do anything I wasn't 80% sure I could conquer without embarrassment or failure. Sure, I moved across the country after college and many people have told me that was brave - but I wasn't afraid because I had more safety nets than a tightrope walker. Any situations I've approached were perhaps unfamiliar, but none of them terrified me. None fell into the 'only 50% sure I could manage' category, and if there were too many questions I simply gave up and sat still saying "yes ma'am."

Today, with my options completely open to me and the reservations about what I'm 'supposed' to do with my future fading, I'm recognizing that my life has been led with the assurance of those safety nets, and I'm really not as brave as I've led others to believe. When I read stories that inspire me they generally involve people who took the path that called to them, without failure as an option - those who created a future for themselves based solely on their own determination - not what was safe or would most likely work out. I admire these people because they have something that I do not - the ability to overcome fear.

It is only now, when I must convince myself multiple times daily "yes, I can be a writer" that I am trying to face my fears of failure. I'm not confident that I will someday make my living from my own words, just as I wasn't 80% sure that I could dance for a living and therefore gave up at the first rejection. I wish I had found the guts to stand up to my personal naysayer when dance was the only thing I could imagine fulfilling my life's intent. Perhaps I could have demanded a life of art instead of one filled with wanderlust and wasted dreams. But hey - what's stopping me now from chasing the hours of choreography out of my head and into bodies, or those characters onto paper? The conservative nun will always be there with her ruler and her 'No,' but it is up to me to stand up to her and defy. She's not going to stop me anymore.

Stupendous Strawberry Salad

This salad went over very well at my family’s Easter, plus it’s healthy and delicious so I thought I’d share:

Baby spinach (about 2 bags)
Sliced strawberries (1.5 quarts)
Diced yellow onions (3/4 onion)
Chopped almonds (2 cups)
Creamy goat cheese (1/4 cup)
Balsamic reduction vinaigrette (about 1/4 cup)

I added the goat cheese and dressing at the last minute and tossed the salad thoroughly so that the spinach was lightly coated with a touch of the flavorful cheese and dressing.

If you’d like to make your own balsamic reduction vinaigrette, simply heat up some balsamic vinegar in a shallow pan and let simmer while stirring in your ingredients. I used salt, pepper, garlic, a little olive oil (which needs to be whisked in order to bond with the vinegar) and a little touch of Annis for a liquorish flavor. This type of dressing has never tasted the same way twice for me, so playing around with ingredients is part of the fun! Reduce the dressing down until it tastes just right, but use sparingly as the flavors are usually quite strong. Enjoy!

The Locker Room and the Visual Landmines That Await

I hate using the bathroom in my gym. This is due partly in response to my utter disgust at public restrooms in general, but the uncomfortable feeling I get walking into the locker room at my local Bally's is amplified by the amount of naked old people I see.

Why is it that walking around naked is acceptable in a locker room, especially when the subjects are far from their prime age? I have always wondered this, and silently wished these people would hold on to their towels and muster up some modesty, all while I fix my gaze on the floor with unrelenting intensity.

However, there is something to be said for those people who are unashamed of their own bodies. Why is it that the human body, in its natural phase of aging through no fault of the human itself, disgusts us? Why shouldn't we walk around in the buff, free from shame? If our body is our temple, shouldn't we praise ourselves and others who wish to strut their stuff? Why should I project my own insecurities at my not-so-six-pack stomach onto those who don't give a crap that their skin sags? It is almost admirable, the complete lack of modesty, because this is the lack of body consciousness, something I believe we should all strive towards. Learning to love ourselves, imperfections and all, could start with accepting others in their own skin, sagging or otherwise.

I'm not sure how much practice I will get out of this preaching, but I do think it is a good concept overall. Judging others by their looks or their weight is really a judgment on ourselves - projecting negative thoughts about ourselves onto others to make ourselves feel better. Acceptance of others, their jiggling thighs, cellulite, and baggy arms can help us accept our own versions of these bodies, especially as we grow older and inevitably endure these changes ourselves.

Well, its a thought anyway...Hi floor - glad to see you again.

The Stairway to a Heavenly Body

When I was in college I lived on the fifth floor of my dorm. That's five flights of stairs that I climbed at least twice a day, causing some huffing and puffing, but otherwise simply inserting a few minutes of cardio into my day without much effort. Sure, I could have taken the elevator, but I wouldn't have gotten the heart pumping, calorie burning benefits from just standing there, avoiding eye contact with others.

So, you think you can't fit in gym time? Go find some stairs! Are you going to the mall? Park a few floors above or below where you need to be and jog the stairs towards your destination. Take the solid steps instead of the escalator. Seek out and learn to enjoy those stairs because each one is leading you closer to your healthier self! (Plus your claves will look just smashing.)

Strawberry (Ice) Fields Forever

Need a special treat? Make any drink a little bit more exotic by plopping in a frozen strawberry instead of ice. My favorite: tonic water with pomegranate juice; a low calorie, little bit sweet, fizzy and fun drink that feels a little fancy, especially when I add a frozen strawberry. Not only does it give a little bit of extra flavor, when all the liquid is gone there is a delicious strawberry to eat and top off the experience! It's the perfect, end of summer stress relief that feels a little special after a hard day.

Pamper Yourself Towards The Sun

This post is for girls only. (Although I'm not deluding myself into thinking that I have scores of male readers).

Sometimes, I get a little down. I feel a bit like an ugly duckling, my mind works by itself and tells me I'm a giant clunker of a girl with sausage fingers and man feet, and all I want to do is put on a giant sweatshirt and eat some cookies.

It may seem silly, but a little pampering can go a long way to drawing us out of internal funks. We're girls - of course we're going to feel insecure sometimes. But putting a little extra effort into our looks can sometimes help draw us out of the rain clouds and bring back the sunshine of self esteem. Sometimes I paint my nails which always makes me feel feminine and a little girly, or I'll spend a little extra time on my hair and makeup, or I'll shave my legs (because when there's no date on the horizon really, what's the point?) and use a nice moisturizer so that my skin feels nice and soft.

I understand that these are things most girls do all the time, but they are the things that don't cost a lot and can make me feel a little extra special. What are you secrets to sunshine?

Breakfast of Tired People

Protein is power! I always notice that when I'm not getting enough protein in my diet I start to feel ultra tired, like I have cement in my shoes and I can't stop yawning. A great meal to get a little protein is breakfast - it'll jump start your whole day!

My favorite protein packed breakfast is a single egg with a piece of whole wheat toast. Low in calories, tons of protein, a little fat and a little fiber. It will start your day out right, hopefully kicking the yawns to the curb and making way for bright eyed and bushy tailed productivity!

Deep Down Ab Move For The Core

Here is an extremely difficult ab move that gets down deep in your core.

Using a balance ball, get in plank position with feet balancing on the ball. Try to get a ball the appropriate height so that your body is parallel to the floor.

Hold here, shoulders over wrists, abs sucked in tight and making sure not to sag your belly towards the floor. If this is easy (in that your whole body doesn't shake while holding this pose) draw right knee in to chest and hold. Replace foot and repeat with left knee.

It's hard, but stick to it and your abs will flatten faster than a hair straightener smoothes out curls.

Giving Myself Back The Power!

Last week I grew tired of making poor food decisions and getting angry at myself for them, over and over. I thought I had completely lost the power to say "no," it seemed when I was confronted with a delicious desert left over at work, all my mind would allow me to say was "where's a fork?" So! I wrote a blog about going out to buy a ring. I wanted it to be somewhat of a commitment ring, to myself, to make good decisions in the kitchen (and at work where the mashed potatoes are basically butter held together with starch and taste ridic).

I searched and searched (for a long two hours) and finally purchased the perfect, simple, silver band for my middle finger. Since I placed the ring on my hand I have found it so much easier to stop for a second and think. It has given me back the power. It allows me to ask myself what I really want, and why I want it. Am I stressed? Am I bored? Is everyone else doing it? Or am I actually hungry, or simply just need a little treat? It has helped me find my will power again, to have a physical source for it, and to listen to myself and shut up the devil on my shoulder who apparently wants nothing but sweets at 10pm. Plus, the ring is exactly my style and I love seeing it on my finger. The deal is, if I am going to make poor decisions I have to take off the first piece of jewelry I've bought for myself in a long time...and honestly loving the ring is practically reason enough to think twice before popping a few bite sized brownies. This may be the first time being a girl has actually helped me!

If you're searching for will power or to make a commitment, I highly suggest this form of self manipulation. It's working for me, and I thought I had lost my power to say "no" completely!

A Little Laughter Will Do It!

I would like to expand on yesterday's post - one more wonderful way to ward off the wallow is to laugh! It doesn't matter if you have a legitimate reason or anything particularly funny to laugh at, one good guffaw can snap any mood back on track. I realized this last night when, after carrying my mood around all day, a coworker made me laugh out loud (LOL if you will) and I physically felt my tension just melt away. Worked better than a day on the beach in Aruba with an umbrella drink in hand.

Even if laughing is the last thing you want to do when the doldrums get you down, force a smile and a little chuckle and you may just release your bad mood and have a wonderful night after all!

Anxiety Nation

I, like many people I know, suffer from anxiety. I have panic attacks. I get that fluttery, unsettled feeling in my arms and sometimes I have a tightness in my chest that feels like a block of cement. My mind starts on a marathon of sprints, jetting from one subject to another and I feel as if I'll never catch up. Tears often set up shop just behind my eyes and simply wait for the smallest event to allow them release. While anxiety is very common, and seemingly affecting more and more people with the pace of life ever increasing, it is still a very serious and difficult thing to conquer. It can also severely affect your life and your health.

On a day like today when I'm trying to read the paper by nine-o-clock to remain on my schedule, I am interrupted by a friend wanting to chat, my mother needing multiple moments for help with a flat tire, and emails from work, I start to feel the onset of my anxious symptoms. I look at the clock and want to cry that it is 11am and I am just now sitting down at my computer. I feel like a million things are pulling my attention and each interruption only increases my annoyance. My breathing has become shallow, I feel the tears put on their boxing gloves, and my hands feel as if they have tension injected directly into the veins. I work hard to avoid these feelings but they are inevitable in someone as tightly wound as I am in times of stress.

While I certainly do not have the answer to anxiety I have found some excellent ways to cope, and slowing down for a moment is by far the best advice I have ever been given. Taking 3 deep breathes, deep down into the stomach is a wonderful stress relief. Realizing that there are no real fires to put out helps put my situation in perspective (because my anxiety is often self inflicted and for no good reason). And whenever possible I stretch - a few sun salutations or simply reaching my arms up to the sky releases some of the physical tension I feel.

I do not like anxiety, especially when it affects my reactions to my family or friends. However, it seems as if it is an issue I have developed and need to address on a regular basis. Using these techniques can help bring me off the edge and relax for a moment - allowing me to get through my day, productive, calm and satisfied.

Oh Narcissus, Nobody Understands You Like I Do!

I realized today, along with many other days in my past, that I am a narcissist. I look in the mirror every, single time I pass one. I stare at myself and say 'damn I look good' on a regular basis. I glance sideways to catch my reflection in just about every store window I pass, and I absolutely love being the center of attention, no matter how shy or embarrassed I act. I am slightly obsessed with myself, and I find new ways to compliment myself frequently. These traits make me a narcissist.

The word narcissist comes from the mythical character Narcissus who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool and neither ate nor slept just so that he could stare at himself all day. He eventually died. Therefore, the word narcissistic means to be vain or conceited.

I feel however, that a little bit of vanity is not a negative character trait and I'm tired of feeling guilty because I want to enjoy my own reflection. While yes, Narcissus perhaps went a little overboard with the self love, the lesser known part of the story is that a nymph cast a spell on him. She had fallen in love with him and didn't receive the sentiments in return, so she punished him with the curse of unrequited love. Is it his fault the first gorgeous face he saw was his own in a pool of water? So, he fell in love with himself and got a bad rap because it killed him, does that mean we shouldn't love ourselves with as much gusto as long as we remember to eat once in a while too?

I strongly feel that in life, the best person you can fall in love with is yourself. I personally, have worked very hard to feel happy with who I am, what I look like, and how I act every day. Everyone should have the gumption and the freedom to become the person they could fall in love with so that they can walk through life with their head held high and feel proud of who they have become. While my actions and the feelings I feel about myself do fall under the category of vain, I am proud to present myself and my appearance to others, so yes, I will look in the mirror and tell myself congratulations as many times as I want to. If that makes me a narcissist, I guess I'll just have to make sure to not fall in the pool, but I'm sure not going to stop staring.

Need A Personal Trainer? Try the Magazine Rack...

I often times read magazines like Shape or Self, and even though they repeat the same information over and over again, I find them excellent motivation tools. But they can be more! Last year I participated in the Shape Bikini Body Melt Down. I did the workouts outlined in each issue for four months and I have to say that I saw some serious results! I didn't bother to follow their eating or cardio plan, but the workouts themselves gave me structure and challenges in my weight lifting sessions and I felt great!

The routines includes 6 or 7 moves that work several different muscle groups, and usually 1 or 2 that also get the heart rate up. The routines progressively get more difficult throughout the four months so that by the end of it perhaps your doing something you hadn't thought possible. It's slow progress that sneaks up, and then all of a sudden you're fit!

I've decided to follow the routines again this year and hopefully I'll see similar results. It's like your own personal trainer for $4 a month!

The Ring...

I feel horrible...it seems all of my will power has gone out the window and I simply want to indulge in all the foods I know will make me unhappy. I feel sluggish, I've been sleeping too much, I'm having stomach pains...all the symptoms of eating too much sugar and not enough fiber. I'm longing for the light, healthy self I love so much.

So I have decided that today I'm going to go to a store and purchase myself a present, a ring, that I will wear with the sole purpose of making good food decisions. It seems that when I have an outside reason, a purpose other than myself, I can draw more strength and will power from that purpose. I'm not sure why remaining accountable to myself does not work, but I'm hoping that having a physical reminder will encourage me to turn down a free apple pie at work, or stop me from munching mindlessly on the box of cookies that are always available. I will be going today to purchase my new ring, and here's hoping that this strategy works!

Tomorrow Is Another Day! Inspiration at any age

I just read an article about a woman who, during the first fifty years of her life used uppers and downers, emotional suppression, and greasy food to tap down any problems she had in her life, including her weight. She raised her son on microwave dinners and hid her 200+ lb body with giant clothing and denial. However on her 50th birthday she decided to change her life and discover herself. Over the next year she lost 100 pounds and found happiness through will power, pride and acceptance. She says that her only regret was not having made the decision to change her life earlier.

I always find stories of those who lose massive amounts of weight inspiring, but this woman stirred even more 'you can do it!' feelings. This woman has already lived for five decades, has already raised a son, and has habits far more embedded in her persona than I do at my 26 years. I thank myself for using my life wisely and for always striving to remain healthy and dedicated. But I also take heart in knowing that no matter how many times I fall off the wagon and put on a few pounds - I always have another day to try again and it's never too late to make a change.

Willpower - The Nonrenewable Resource

Well, today marks my one month anniversary of resisting the lure of alcohol. I am filled with a sense of pride and strength, and I am confident that I can continue to practice moderation when it comes to alcoholic beverages because I now know that they are more hype then anything else.

However, in my month of practicing sobriety I have discovered that willpower truly is not a renewable resource and it seems we only have a limited amount to draw from. Since the New Year I have made many changes in my life, changes that I assumed were fairly concrete because I loved the differences in my life and therefore wished to continue my new practices. Here is a quick list of the restrictions and "rules" I gave myself in everyday life before deciding to restrict alcohol:

Eat only 1,300 calories a day
Do not eat any sweets at my restaurant job (a difficulty because of the bite sized delicious cookies we have on hand at all times)
Do not drink diet coke
Do not watch TV during the day
Work out every non work day of the week

Since giving up alcohol, every single one of these wishes for myself has become unraveled. I even smoked a few times - a practice I haven't felt the urge to revisit in quite some time. It seems that resisting the draw of alcohol has sapped my willpower dry and I no longer had the strength to resist the other treats I wanted in my life, or the drive to get to the gym.

When an alcoholic enters AA they are encouraged to continue to smoke if they do so already. They are instructed to keep their lives as simple as possible -not to change jobs or start a new relationship or try to foster new friendships in the first year of sobriety, and I can now understand why. I do not consider myself an alcoholic and yet it still took a lot of work and constant commitment to quit drinking for one month. And I did have to sacrifice my other commitments to myself during that month, a turn of events I did not expect or want.

However, I had decided that giving up alcohol was my priority, and I allowed myself the lapse of other commitments in order to ensure the completion of my month long sobriety. Now, I accept my slip ups and it is time to get back on track and find the balance between all of my self improvement goals. I do not wish to simply jump back in to drinking wine a few nights a week or requiring an alcoholic beverage in order to make an event feel special, but it is no longer a commitment which must require all of my willpower. Hopefully I can now enjoy the sweet-free work nights as I did at the start of the New Year and get back to my productive, healthy days - all while enjoying a sip of wine every once in a while.

Change Your Food Habits, One Sub At A Time

I know that a lot of people want to lose weight, but they also don't want to give up food that tastes delectably delicious. Personally, I eat relatively healthy as a rule, but I took a long road to get here. Most of the changes I made started with small substitutions that helped shape what I eat on a regular basis.

Sure, everyone knows you can substitute low fat sour cream for the regular flavor, but have you ever tried yogurt instead? Plain yogurt has a slightly silkier consistency than sour cream, but in a taco or over a quesadilla you'll never know the difference. Plus, yogurt has far less fat, more calcium and protein than empty-calorie sour cream.

Oatmeal is a great breakfast, but the prepackaged kind can add a lot of sugar and the plain kind is pretty....well plain! I add honey and dried cranberries instead of brown sugar to pack more sweetness, antioxidants, and vitamins to an already excellent breakfast.

In sandwiches, try spreading avocado in place of mayo or mustard, even cheese. It has a ton of flavor and adds a richness to any sandwich, while giving you some healthy fats and fiber to fill you up for longer.

Lastly, anything multi grain is going to fill you up faster and give you more protein and fiber than anything white. So whether it's a bagel in the morning, bread for lunch, or pasta for dinner, substitute the brown, multigrain or wheat kind and instantly improve the impact your meal will have on your body.

Happy subbing!

Bookcases with Breakfast and a Sense of Pride Built

There is just nothing like doing something positive for yourself and coming through on a challenge. Over the weekend my mother and I went shopping for some new furniture to make my apartment more comfortable and easy to live in for both of us (it's not really meant for two people).

Putting together the bookcase last night I realized at one point that if there had been a man around, I would have been sitting on the sidelines watching someone else put together a bookcase that I just as easily could have done myself. Chivalry is great and everything, but I like the fact that I can still break out the hammer and pound down some nails. It gave me a sense of self sufficiency that I enjoyed and when I awoke this morning I saw a piece of furniture that I built myself, standing proudly against my wall.

What kind of challenges have you overcome recently? Be sure to recognize them and give yourself a pat on the back!

Kick It, Punch It, Jab Jab Jab

An excellent way to squeeze some cardio into your day without any equipment at all, while getting a full body workout, is kick boxing! Listen to music and time your punches, jabs and kicks to the music to alleviate boredom. Mix up slow, concentrated punches with fast spurts, throw some squats in there, and shuffle from side to side - there are so many variations to the moves you can come up with, all while giving your body an excellent work out, and maybe even having some fun!

Question: Are Ex Boyfriends Friend Material?

For those who know me, I am a person who does not like to give up easily on the people in my life - and lately I've been wondering if this would be considered a healthy quality or detrimental to my emotional well being. Every person I've ever dated has fallen into my relationship graveyard after much distress and many attempts to throw them a lifeline and remain friends. It seems that I have a difficult time simply letting go, even those who have treated me badly or given me several reasons to rid my life of their presence and influence. I'm not sure why, but I feel that once I decide that someone is important to me, I cannot seem to reverse my opinion.

This is a trait that my close friends enjoy about me, but just now - as I am reminded of my ex boyfriend by a line in a song and resist the urge to contact him - I wonder if the trait is a healthy one. It's not that I want to keep these people around to simply rehash our failed relationship, I simply feel that having spent long periods of time together, sharing memories and large portions of ourselves with each other, shouldn't we at least remain in each other's lives as the kind of friends who check in once every few months and grab a cup of coffee once a year to catch up? Perhaps the reason why these people are not in my life has less to do with me and more to do with the type of person I date - the kind of person who has the capacity to treat me badly and who gives me reasons to rid them of my life - perhaps this type of person is simply not the 'friends after sex' type.

While I still maintain that if I think fondly of someone I should be able to send them a text with the line in a song that made me think of him and smile, my question becomes does this habit fall into the 'healthy lifestyle' that I not only pride myself on but preach to others?

Got a Kink? Roll It Out With Foam!

You may have seen this tool in your gym and passed it right by because let's face it, a round piece of foam doesn't look all that helpful. However, that white log of hard foam sitting in the corner is much more helpful than most people think. Since I have injured myself due to tight muscles and improper stretching, the foam roller has become my new best friend.

A knot in the muscle cannot be stretched out. Once a knot is formed, stretching effects the tissue around the tight area, but not the knot itself. In order to loosen up the knot and prevent injuries, the knot must be massaged out. The foam roller is an excellent, inexpensive way to self-massage and prevent injury, while improving performance. Use the foam roller after a workout (or simply as a daily habit) and go through your regular stretching routine afterwards. Your muscles will give a nice stretch and thank you.

There are many helpful websites detailing proper form for foam rolling

Ex: http://www.diet-blog.com/archives/2008/02/18/the_mighty_foam_roller.php

The purchase of a foam roller costs about $25 and will include an instructional DVD. They are available at any sports store such as Dicks.

Happy rolling!

Take a Vacation - From Your Own Criticism

I haven't written in a while and I have either plenty of good excuses, or a number of cop-outs. Circumstances have made it difficult for me to focus my mind, find the time to write, or figure out topics to write about. Usually when I lose focus and falter from a routine that I pride myself on - be it working out, eating well, getting up early, reading the paper - I view the deviation from my healthy habits to be a failure and I get down on myself, chastising my commitment and therefore making it more difficult to get back on track because I now have low self esteem on top of my good excuses/cop outs.

This time, I've decided that I am not going to judge myself on the week when my keyboard was silent, I'm simply going to evaluate the time and decide how to move forward. Sure, I've been sick, I've been going through a hard time emotionally for a number of reasons, and my routine was interrupted which always generally throws all my rules out the window. Whether or not I'm accepting these reasons as good enough to have eaten poorly, rejected the gym, watched television for days in a row and ignored my laptop is besides the point. The point as I'm choosing it to be, is that these things happened and I would prefer for them to stop. I'd prefer to be back on my regular schedule and get back to being productive.

I think this attitude is important, especially in the lives of those who have high expectations for themselves and therefore are extremely disappointed when those expectations aren't met. It's important to give ourselves a break, and realize that sometimes we just need a break. Whether it's a few days where we eat the foods we don't generally allow ourselves, or a week when we don't get to the gym, or a day when we get nothing accomplished, I think we all make mistakes and should be a little bit gentler with ourselves when we make them.

When I felt ready to get back into my regular scheduled programming I welcomed it and felt happy to get back to my comfort zone. I am not angry at myself for letting my weekly goals slip by, I am only using the time as a learning experience, and encouraging myself to keep up the good work.

Tell the Devil - "Go Pitchfork Yourself!"

About a week ago I wrote about my resolve to abstain from alcohol for one month and to change my attitude about alcohol altogether. Here's an update:

It's been two weeks since I made my commitment and I have remained resilient. I've participated in all the usual activities, including Saturday night at the bar and successfully relaxing after a stressful work night, simply without the traditional beer or glass of wine.

However, during these two weeks I have almost convinced myself several times that it would be OK to indulge just this once, just one drink, special circumstance, lost opportunity, blah blah blah. We all have the devil on our shoulders, telling us that its OK to eat that brownie, we don't need to go to the gym today, we really NEED that extra hour of sleep, or that alcohol will solve our problem.

The red horns and pitchfork showed up last night when I went out to sing karaoke, a favored past time of mine, that generally involves a least a few drinks. On the way there I got lost twice, adding a half an hour to my commute and boiling anger to my chest. I thought to myself "I'll just have one cocktail to calm me down; I'm not going to enjoy this night feeling like this and one drink will help; it's not so bad to have one drink in a month..." And then - I shut the devil up. I listened to a good song specifically to coax my attitude off of the anger ledge, and forced myself to take a deep breath. By the time I reached the bar I had experienced the calm that I would have attributed to having a drink, and I ordered a cranberry and club with a lime. Refreshing, alcohol free, and only cost me a $2 tip!

Another excuse I almost convinced myself was reason enough to break my sober month was the free wine I could have enjoyed on a special night at work. Five or six different wines that I have never experienced before were there for the taking, permission to drink during work was given, and I was pissed that this opportunity presented itself on the week I had decided to abstain. However, when I think about it, those opportunities present themselves about once a week - when I think "I'll have never this opportunity again; this time is special; I'll be missing out." Really? I experienced nothing less by not drinking wine on that night, and I will not look back when I'm 50 and think "Gee golly I wish I had had that glass of wine." So I resisted and have a longer lasting memory because I chose NOT to participate than I would have had giving in.

I don't necessarily think that everyone should give up alcohol, but I'm pretty sure that everyone has that one substance or activity that haunts them, tempting them to go further than they wish, creating that voice that urges them to change their mind and indulge 'just this once.' I know that voice well, and it takes constant commitment and strength to turn a deaf ear. But I can also say that doing so has given me a sense of pride that I haven't experienced in any of my endeavours so far. This simple choice, and sticking to it, has improved my self confidence tenfold. I now know that I posses strength in reservoirs I had not explored. We've all heard that humans only use 10% of their brain capacity, but I think that includes using only 10% of our will power, resilience, and inner strength. Choose to exercise those muscles of your emotional skeleton and you'll discover a new kind of backbone, a potent power, and a lasting courage to create the life that you want, and enjoy every moment of it.

Has't there art a problem? Ask and ye shall receive

So, I've been having an issue with my knee for almost a year now, and most of the money I've spent trying to figure out what is wrong has gone to ruling out options...which while is necessary, is very frustrating because I still don't know what's going on.

Well, I was hoping to find out some information without having to pay more money. So, on a whim, I decided to ask the front desk at my gym: "was anybody I could talk to about my knee injury?" Just by spending 5 minutes asking someone for a little help, I was scheduled the next day for an appointment with an experienced personal trainer who would be able to help me, for free! It just goes to show that if you need a little help and ask for it, more often than not, you'll get what you need in perhaps an unlikely area.

It's Thanksgiving Every Day! (without the turkey)

Have you ever been stuck, on Thanksgiving night, sitting around a table of family without a single thing to be thankful for? Probably not, because there's always something - family, friends, creamy mashed potatoes...but why should Thanksgiving be the only time of year when we give thanks for anything and everything we can think of?

The art of being thankful is something that I think the majority of us look over, but just a moment or two per day to reflect on the good aspects of your life can help put everything else in perspective. In these times, the worst recession since The Great Depression, I think a lot of us twenty-somethings are caught off guard - we've never had to deal with dwindling jobs, new found homelessness among perfectly capable adults, and massive layoffs among those in our own circles. But! What is the point of spending our days biting our nails and worrying about an economy that will mostly be determined by the actions of our new president and the state of the rest of the world? What we can do is save our pennies for the future, come up with a backup plan to our backup plan, and remain optimistic and thankful.

Here are my examples: I currently cannot run, an activity which I miss every day and is affecting my weight and cardio fitness - however I am thankful that I have my overall health and that I can still work, walk, and workout in other ways.

I recently lost my uncle to alcoholism, however I am thankful that his death does not go without teaching me an important lesson and probably will give me a sense of pride and a healthier life in the long term.

My job is sporadic, sometimes providing me with very little income. But I enjoy my job, I am thankful that I have found one that seems to fit with my personality and I finally have superiors who appreciate me, my skills and my hard work.

Lastly, I am so thankful to have my supportive family and wonderful friends. I am thankful that I have my mother living with me and she has also finally found a profession she enjoys. I thank my lucky stars for my cat - a source of infinite laughs and companionship. I'm thankful for music. I'm thankful for dance. I'm thankful to live in America. And I thank you for reading!

Open Eyes; Put Food In Mouth

One mistake many people, including myself, make when trying to establish healthy habits is to wait until hungry to eat in the morning. After indulging last night in a bit too much ice cream and popcorn in celebration of The Oscars, I woke this morning with a full tummy and no desire to put food in my mouth.

However, many studies show that eating first thing in the morning will have a positive effect on metabolism throughout the day, and if anything else we want our metabolism working as hard as possible! So, even if eating is the last thing you want to do and it seems counterproductive to eat more food after a night of too much, make the effort to have a small, healthy breakfast. This will jump start your metabolism, burning more calories throughout the day. Simply use the full feeling in your tummy to make smarter decisions throughout the day instead of skipping breakfast altogether, and your metabolism will work harder for you throughout the day, making a bigger dent in those extra calories from last night.

Full Body Time Saver

Here is a good full body exercise that a trainer once showed me that I still use because it is so effective.

Lie with a stability ball supporting your upper back and neck, creating a straight line from your head to your knees. Keep your knees at a 90 degree angle, and squeeze your glutes and abs to keep your body stable. The only movement should come from the arm, so if your chest or glutes are moving around, choose a lighter weight.

Take a 5-10 pound weight in right hand and hold directly above shoulder. Left hand should rest on your left hip and help to keep body straight, in line and immobile. With a straight arm, bring weight slightly to the left so that it is above your left shoulder. Then slowly lower straight arm to the right so that arm is parallel with the floor. This is one rep. Repeat 8-12 times, making sure arm stays straight but elbow not locked and hips remain motionless and raised. Switch arms and repeat.

This move is full body because it works so many different muscle groups at once. Keeping your hips raised and tightened for the full 16-24 reps will tighten the glutes, legs, and abs. While the weight is extended to parallel your chest muscles are engaged, when the weight is over the chest your shoulder muscles are engaged, and the lifting motion works the biceps and chest as well. The only caution is to pick a weight that doesn't put too much stress on the chest muscles, so start with a lighter weight and work your way up to heavier.

The Intention of Living an Organized Life (and the power of purple)

A few years ago my mother sent me a gift in the mail, a book entitled "Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life." It was an easy how-to guide on feng shui, an easy read with pictures and real life applications.

As a believer in the power of energy, I decided to give it a try and reorganized my tiny apartment to properly flow the energy through the most important areas of my living space: prosperity, wisdom and love & relationships. I put all the purple I could find in my prosperity section (the bathroom), created a little library in my kitchen (wisdom) and bought a red sheet for my bed (love & relationships).

Now, I couldn't argue with you if you said all this was coincidence...but - I began to experience wealth that I had not realized before, getting the best tables at work out of pure luck, getting offers for payment on activities that I loved (such as creating CD mixes to play at my work). I also had clarity of thought in situations that previously would have plagued me for months, I was able to step back and get myself out of those situations. And, for better or worse, the relationship I was currently in developed into far more than I ever would have predicted.

The best lesson I learned from this episode is the power of intention. I currently do have all of the purple I own in the prosperity section of my apartment, but what I concentrate on in general is keeping my apartment picked up and orderly. "Move Your Stuff..." comments many times on how closely the organization of the living space relates to the organization of life. If the space you live in is cluttered, messy and dirty, it can be an excellent mirror to how you feel about your life as well. So, with intention, I pick up the little clutter around my house, make my bed every morning, fold the blankets on my couch, keep the dishes in the sink minimal, and keep the litter box as empty as possible. I do this with the intention of helping my life stay just as picked up and neat as my apartment, without distractions or dust or disappointment. If nothing else, at least I feel comfortable within my living space and have adapted habits that make it easy to come home and relax.

However, when I'm feeling the purse strings particularly tight I do still rearrange, tidy up and clean off the purple items in my prosperity section and to be honest, I usually do receive some sort of flux in cash soon afterwards. Call it coincidence, but I'll still take it!

Grief, A Lesson and One Less

In the past week I have encountered my first true experience with grief. My Uncle Mark, after a long and hard struggle with alcohol, passed away on February 10th. This one event has changed the dynamics of our family forever. Instead of 5 brothers there will only be 4. Someone will always be missing at my birthday party, and Christmas will never feel truly complete. The past week has been a flurry of happiness in hugging family I haven't seen in years, gut wrenching sorrow at the thought of these everlasting changes, refusal to accept this event has occurred, anger at a disease that made Mark's entire life a struggle, and fear that more of those close to me will succumb to drugs and alcohol and won't come back. Now, after the funeral is over and my extended family has gone back to their lives, I struggle with what comes next.

For our family, alcohol is synonymous with 'get together,' and it seems no matter how many of us go into rehab, attend AA meetings, or preach to the others about the dangers of alcohol, wine and beer remain a non negotiable invitee to every event. My father, after a lifetime of loyalty to his best friend the beer bottle, permanently gave up his habit three years, one month and 10 days before his brother gave in to the substance that killed him. I look at the differences between my Uncle Mark and my father and while there are some distinct personality differences, there are many similarities between the two men which make figuring out why one could kick the presence of alcohol out of their lives and one could not, very difficult and heart wrenching.

Not that Mark didn't try. There was rehab, there were many trips to the hospital, there were speeches and therapy and ice teas at Easter instead of the traditional glass (or 5) of wine. There were desperate emails and phone calls and visits from his brothers, his mother and his nieces, begging him to get help, get better. But in the end, after spending one last month in an attempt to rid his body of the need for alcohol, Mark came home and one week later died with too much alcohol in his system.

While Mark's death is tragic, it does not come without a valuable and useful lesson. Alcohol is an acceptable part of our society, but that does not in any way make it safe. Regular drinking in high school and college turns into regular happy hours after work and Christmas parties with drunken colleagues, turns into children who become accustomed to Mom driving home on Christmas because Dad's too drunk, turns into a dependence on alcohol to function in everyday life. And in Mark's case that drinking in his younger years, as so many of us do as a rite of passage in high school and college, turned into the cause of many of his problems in life and the reason for his death. He hadn't even seen his 50th birthday.

So I will use this as a lesson to me, and my attitude towards alcohol. I will listen to my father who, in a rare moment of tears and a prolonged hug with his children struggled to get the words out of his throat: Just don't drink. Alcohol is no longer a necessary part of any get together. It is not safe. It deserves the label of 'drug,' and I have always said that I don't do drugs. I know that I have to accept the fact that I cannot change all of society, but I can change myself and my own views. I will accept the fact that I rarely have 'just one drink,' because one drink clouds my judgement enough that I think it ok to have another one. I will look at the amount of people in my family who suffer from alcoholism and I will be honest with myself that I probably am closer to the disease than I think. And I will think of my Uncle Mark when I want to be part of the crowd and have a drink. I will think of the sorrow in my father's face, regretting that he could not save his brother as he had saved himself. And I will teach my children as best I can, that alcohol is not a rite of passage, it is not a necessary part of life, and it should be treated as the dangerous drug it is.

My Uncle Mark was a good person, a loving uncle to me, and I will miss him for the rest of my life. I only hope that he is finally at peace, resting now without the awful grip of alcohol strangling his mind and taking over his life. And I hope that I can make a difference, and that perhaps this article has made even one person consider how close they are to alcoholism. Because as much as we all hope that alcohol could never become a non negotiable part of our lives, the disease of alcoholism is a sneaky attacker, one that many don't realize until too late. We don't know why some people are alcoholics and some people are not, and why some alcoholics can kick the habit and why others succumb. So personally, I would rather not take the risk and truly enjoy the rest of my life, happy, healthy and sober.

More Band For Your Bicep: Multi tasking at the gym

Everybody is busy. Therein lies much of the problem with getting to the gym for most of us. Finding 20 minutes to an hour a day, not to mention getting changed, showering, and the commute all give us excuses not to trek to the gym and spend some time sweating. That's why squeezing more into your workout is always helpful.

One way to burn extra calories and get more bang for your bicep is to combine cardio with your strength training. You can accomplish this with circuit training: jumping on a cardio machine after every few bouts with the dumbbells. Or you can up your heart rate, machine free with some of these free form cardio moves.

The mountain climber: Stand in a slight lunge position, one foot in front of the other by a few feet with front leg bent. Lean forward and place hands flat on the floor, a few inches in front of your lead foot. Your feet will be up on the toes. Keep weight mostly on your hands, placed directly underneath shoulders, and switch feet in one fluid motion. Continue switching feet as quickly as possible for 30 seconds to one minute.
Variation: equally as effective in getting your heart rate up but without putting stress on wrists or upper body, simply keep hands on hips and switch feet swiftly underneath you, keeping knees soft.

Squat and touch: Stand in a straddle squat, feet underneath knees and toes slightly turned out. Squat slightly, making sure knees do not go past toes, then spring upward and touch heels together in the air before landing softly in the wide squat once again. Complete 10 times.

Ball Toss: Hold a light to medium medicine ball in both hands. Squat and touch ball to the ground, making sure to keep knees over toes and feet flat on the floor, weight in the heels. Straighten legs as you bend your elbows and lift ball above head to gently toss upwards with both hands. Catch the ball above your head, keep it close to your body as you lower, and repeat. Concentrate on keeping the ball directly above your body while in the air and not tossing too far in front or in back of you. Complete 10 times.

Sideways shuffle: Keeping body square to the front of the room, quickly shuffle to one side for about 10 paces. Pause and briskly hop on toes 5 times. Shuffle back to starting point and repeat hops. Continue for 30 seconds to one minute.

Adding just one, two or all of these cardio/strengthening moves into your normal routine will get your heart rate up and keep it up, meaning you are getting a cardio workout at the same time as your weight training. This will burn more calories and save you time, which ought to make finding the time to get to the gym just a little bit easier.

From Cave Walls to Crosswords: Reading is the key

I've always found it fascinating that we have evidence of cave people drawing out stories on their cave walls. That cave people needed entertainment too, and they created their own by documenting a story of a dangerous kill, or drawings of themselves. This fascinates me because we basically do the same thing today. Our stories are more elaborately conceived, and we can blanket the world with news in a matter of minutes, but the concept remains the same: we need information, we want to documentation of our lives, and we need entertainment.

Reading is one of the first joys of my life and it has been an enriching addition since I was very young. However reading has taken a backseat for many years to TV, the Internet, and gabbing with friends or worrying about work. I think for many people in America, we take reading for granted. Every year we have more and more information at our fingertips, more books have been written, more websites built. The amount of reading material we have is endless, and would be of great envy to those cave people.

Besides our privilege of having loads of material available for our eyes, there is a health benefit to reading with abandon. As we age, the threat of Alzheimer's seizing our brains become more real. A study performed by David Snowdon shows that the wider a person's vocabulary, and complexity of thought while in their twenties, the less at risk they were for developing the devastating disease later in life (Suite101.com, Melissa Howard). The brain is a muscle just like the triceps, abs and hamstrings, and reading is like exercise for the brain. When we're 65 and our minds are retiring, we want them as sharp as we can preserve them. My father does crossword puzzles every day to give his mind a little workout. My grandmother is rarely seen without a book by her side. Both of these role models of mine have some of the most admirable brains I've ever encountered, and I want to strive to create that type of mind for myself as I age.

So try creating a reading ritual for yourself, whether its sitting down with the paper in the morning instead of watching the news, or reading from a good book for a half an hour during your lunch break, or even simply completing a Sudoku puzzle every day, exercise your brain, and your right to knowledge. Another bonus my father has demonstrated (besides having a sharp, informed mind late into life): knowing enough trivia to put Alex Trebec to shame!

Tired? Hungry? Probably not...

We all know the feeling: eyes too heavy to hold open, fog inhabiting the brain making the thoughts you need to think hard to find, the only possible solution seemingly being some time with our head on the desk or curled up on the couch.

One leading cause of this midafternoon slump can often be thirst, and one that may be overlooked by many people. After digesting our lunch we become very tired, and figure we need a little sugar or caffine to jumpstart our bodies back into productivity. However, having a cup of coffee or visiting the vending machine can only dehydrate your body more, and after the initial kick you'll probably feel the crash return. Plus, thirst is often mistaken as hunger, so we often miss the signs that we need more water and not another snack.

Water is a vital tool to keep your body functioning at its highest and best potential. So next time you experience a crash in the the day, try guzzling a whole glass of water, and keep more water easily at hand to rehydrate. This often times can get the mind back on track, energizing and refocusing the body. So instead of reaching for a package of M&Ms or a coca-cola, simply rehydrate using Mother Earth's perfect gift of water and in a half an hour see if you feel more like your old self. Your boss will thank you!

Now Punch it Out

We all want to save time by doing more within it, and unfortnately squeezing the gym between all of the other important tasks we must complete in each day gets more and more difficult. So that is why I am a fan of moves that will work out more than one muscle group at a time, and will even get your heart rate up so that extra calories get burned up in the process.

Here is a move that is simple and easy, but very effective and can be done at home as well as the gym.

Take a pair of low weights, start with 3s or 5s to begin, and hold them in front of your stomach. Slightly bend your knees, making sure weight is evenly distributed and all joints are stacked. Then, as quickly as you can, punch in front of you with your weights, keeping your hips still making sure not to lock your knees. As you bring your arm forward, turn the weight parallel to the floor at the farthest point from you to work some of the smaller muscles in your arm. Punch at least 50 times, or time yourself for 30 seconds to a minute. Repeat at least twice.

This move will work your stomach, because you're twisting and keeping your abs pulled in tight to prevent movement in the hips, your arms and shoulders as you punch forward, your back as you pull back, and get your heart rate up for that extra calorie burn. The main thing to concentrate on is keeping all of your muscles pulled in tight; abs engaged to protect your back, arms pulled in next to your body and each movement should be fast, but controlled. Try and it and feel your whole upper body get a workout in less than a minute!

The Battle of the Bulge - for your wallet AND your waistline

One of the aspects of our lives that most of us struggle with as much as our health, is our bank account. We want the opposite things for our wallets as we do for our tummies, we want them bulging, spilling over, stuffed to the brim, and only growing larger. We want higher numbers in our ING and lower numbers on the scale. But we want the same thing in the end from both: results.

Unfortunately, obviously, its more difficult to achieve larger numbers in savings with this miserable economy. This is why I, like many, have been soaking up as many tips as I can find for saving more, spending less - just as I try and eat less and exercise more. Sometimes it helps me to thing of these concepts in similar terms so...

-I figure I have a certain number of calories in a day, so when I am deciding on whether or not I can 'afford' to eat something, I make sure I check to see how many calories I have left in the bank. If I'm going for broke with a milkshake I skip it, or have only a few sips. If I'm making a small withdrawal that fits into my daily budget, I go for it.

-I also make a list of all the things I eat in a day, much like we're told to make a list of what we spend in a week, down to the last $4 latte or $1.50 pack of gum. This way, we can take a look back over our lists and see where small changes can be made. I could have stayed within my calories today if I hadn't mindlessly munched on those M&Ms in the break room, that's easy enough to cut out tomorrow. Or wow, I spent $20 on coffee this week, I'd better only buy coffee out once a week.

-The major finance experts say to pay yourself first; as soon as you receive a paycheck or pocket some money, immediately put some in savings and forget about it. This is the surest way to ensure that you will save and the money that's left over after your bills and rent are paid is what you have to play with. If it's not much, well at least you've got some money in the bank for tomorrow when your car breaks down, or the washer ruins all of your nice work clothes.

I think of exercise with the same concept. Exercise to me is like putting calories in the bank, to be used in an emergency. This ensures me that if I do happen to go over on my eating one day, I have some freebies stocked up since I've already burned them off with exercise. Then, if I stick to my allotted calorie amount every day, my 'extra' calories will build up and give me 'interest,' in that I'll be losing more weight. I'm investing in myself with exercise, just as I invest in myself with a 401K. When I'm having a difficult time convincing myself to get to the gym, thinking in these terms helps me because even if I go for just ten minutes, it's still that many extra calories I've earned for myself.

With a lifetime of thinking, analyzing, wishing and praying about weight loss, it can help to think of it in new terms, with a different type of outcome. If saving money doesn't obsess your mind as it does mine, perhaps there's another parallel you can draw from calories consumed vs. calories spent - whatever it takes to make those investments in yourself that will yield high interest benefits and improve the security of your future.

The Daily Calorie

So when I quit smoking here's how I did it: I quit putting cigarettes in my mouth. And when I wanted to stop watching TV I just didn't turn it on anymore. Diet Coke? Same thing! I just didn't drink it. And therein lies the major problem for us 'lifelong dieters:' we can't just quit eating!

If I could say "OK I'm no longer eating food" there wouldn't be much of a problem. For me, it's a lot easier to quit altogether than to cut back and only eat the healthy foods in certain amounts. It really gets my goat that not eating anything at all is almost worse than eating too much. But, there's obviously no way around this universal quandary, so we know we must eat. But how much and when?

The best tool I have found so far is online calorie counters. You can sign up for free and they will track not only your calories, but your fiber, sodium, fat, carbs, all the major amounts that should factor into your weight loss goals. Its difficult to say "only eat 1,500 calories and you will lose weight" because if all of those calories come from cake and are eaten at 10pm, you still have a problem. The program I use is www.TheDailyPlate.com and has been quite useful in achieving my goals this New Year.

The main reason why I find calorie counters so useful is that it eliminates the guesswork. I know exactly how much protein I still need in my day, that my sodium is a little high so I'd better skip those pretzels, and I have 300 calories for dinner so I cannot have an evening snack today. It also helps me to spread out my calories throughout the day. I think a lot of people (myself at the top of the list) are "good" all day, and then cave at dinner and have two large helpings, or snack in front of the TV for an hour at night.

The best way to lose weight is to eat 200-300 calories every few hours throughout the day. If all of your calories are eaten at night, your metabolism is chillin for hours, wondering if its going to get any food. So when dinner comes and a large amount of calories shows up, your metabolism is out of practice and takes longer to gear up to digest that food. But if smaller amounts of food are ingested every few hours, just as your breakfast is finished digesting - here comes a snack! Eating throughout the day means your metabolism is constantly working, and in effect may even burn more calories digesting the same food as if you ate it all at once.

So try out a calorie counter if you have trouble spacing out your food throughout the day. Stick to it and pretty soon you might even find that eating throughout the day is way more fun than "being good."

Dr. H2O

Over the past couple days I've had that dreadful feeling; my throat is scratchy, my chest feels full of cement, my thoughts scatter around in a bumper car course full of fog. I'm sick.

I know that popping meds is the answer for most people who start to feel sick. Throw some asprin back, Airborne or Emergen-C, whatever might up your immune system and quiet down the miserable symtoms inhabiting your body. I know these methods work for some people, but I suggest adding another cold curing habbit to your regimine: drink water!

I tend to drink a lot of water anyway, because it is the perfect weight loss companion and because it is necessary in life. But when I'm sick, my water bottle is constantly by my side, most of the time at my mouth. I could go through as many as 8 quarts a day when I'm under the weather. I haven't done any research to back this up, but through experience I can say that drinking at least double the water that you normally drink, right when you're starting to feel under the weather, can help to flush out your impending symptoms.

My thought is, germs are floating around inside your body, looking to really latch on and infest as much as they can. But drinking water flushes out the toxins in your body - which is why when you urinate clear it means that you're drinking enough water - so by drinking extra water you can flush the sickness right out of you. I've seen most of my results with simple, annoying colds (such as the one I have now) and I very rarely take medicine to treat my illnesses. I also can't remember the last time a cold lasted more than a few days, while some people carry around coughs and sniffles for weeks. Again, this is merely an educated guess and this may not work for everyone all the time, but it certainly can't hurt to drink some extra water for a few days, so I say give it a try!

Crunches? "Ab"solutely

Here is a subject that on the mind of probably most people interested in health and fitness: The Abs. That is why the amount of infommercials promoting miracle products to flatten the abs exist in the world. Whether its the "Bender Method," Pilates, those crazy chairs you lean back in, or the latest Salsa/Stripper/Hip Hop video guaranteed to give you 'the results you're looking for,' the bottom line comes down to exercise.

It is pretty well know that someone laying on the floor straining to lift their shoulders barely off the mat a couple of times is not going to give you the six-pack of your dreams. However, there are plenty of results to be had by the traditional crunch - although crunches by the hundreds appeal to a select few that I know. Here is the way I think of strengthening my abs: they are like any other muscle. I don't do 50 bicep curls with a 3 pound weight, I do 8-15 bicep curls with a weight that will just allow me to properly lift the designated amount of times because this will build muscle more effectively than the 3 pound weight. I would suggest attacking your abs the same way.

Aim to do 2 - 3 sets of 15 reps of a crunch that you can just barely squeeze out that 14th and 15th rep. This will affect your abs much quicker than doing 50 - 100 of the classic straight up an down crunch. Some ways to put the intensity of your crunch:

Add some weight - Hold two 3 pound dumbbells by your shoulders as you crunch up, adding more gravity to work against and upping the difficulty. Just make sure (and this is very important) that you are using a weight that still allows the motion to come from your stomach, and not by straining your neck. Your abs should be engaged constantly, and your lower back should never come off the floor. If this isn't possible, stick with the normal crunch until you work up to using the weight. This also works with a resistance band tied to a piece of furniture behind you.

Add some body parts - The classic types of crunches target only one section of your abs at a time, and unless the exercise is targeting that muscle extremely well, you are wasting time. When lying on your back, try spreading your arms and legs out into a V shape, then lift both at the same time to meet at the highest point possible over your body. Again, make sure to start the motion from your abs, not your neck. If you can't lower your legs down to the floor without your lower back popping off the floor, only lower them as far as your ab muscles will allow.

Add some gravity - I like to do all of my oblique exercises using my own body weight as resistance, such as: Lay on on side with your forearm flat on the ground, directly in line with your shoulder. Stack your feet and place your other hand on your hip. Raise and lower your hips, making sure to keep all joints in line with each other for 8-10 reps. Then, with hips raised, place your free arm by your ear and lower your bent elbow towards the ground and back up for 8-10 reps. These two exercises work different parts of your obliques and more effectively than laying on your back and twisting. Another great gravity exercise for the entire core is the plank pose - your whole body in a straight line with both forearms on the floor and body aligned in a straight line off of the ground. Hold for 30 seconds to a minute and do 2 sets, all the while concentrating every muscle in your stomach to squeeze as tightly as possible.

Doing these types of exercises for your stomach will target your abs more effectively than crunch after crunch after crunch, and will take a lot less time as well. Just make sure to give your core the proper time to heal with a day or two break between workouts, and don't forget your back is part of your core and must be given proper attention. Using this method will get you the flatter abs boasted about by the people on the infomercials have, without having to spend $19,95 on the next miracle product.

Cheers For Fiber

One surefire way to move along your weight loss progress is by the addition of fiber to your daily diet. Fiber, while found in many everyday foods, takes much longer for your body to digest than say, Wonder bread or cheese puffs. It slows down the digestion of the food you eat, giving you that full-feeling longer than those foods of little substance.

Something else that fiber doesn't make your body do is spike your blood sugar. When eating foods such as chocolate cake, coffee ice cream, french fries and any other 'this is so bad but its so good' food, your body doesn't have to work very hard to digest it, so it sends a bunch of energy towards getting it through your body as quickly as possible. In layman's terms, its called the sugar high. But after eating a box of Reece's Pieces, an hour later you feel tired and sluggish, known as the crash. Ever wonder why at 3pm you become incredibly tired at your desk? Perhaps it was the iceburg lettuce/bacon bits/garlic crouton salad you consumed, or the side of fries with your club sandwhich on Italian bread. Your body has just digested the food you put into it, and now it feels deprived because the digestion process was so fast and furious.

Eating fiber does the opposite. Your body takes it's sweet ole time to process an apple with peanut butter, or whole wheat pasta, or 4 almonds. This means you need less food to feel satisfied, and since it takes longer to work its way through your system, you don't need more food for longer. Your blood sugar doesn't go haywire, and your metabolism has to work harder to digest fiber, which means you are burning more calories than those vending machine pretzels.

So look at the fiber content in your foods and try and work it in whenever possible. Adding spinach to your eggs in the morning or your lunch time salad, eating an apple a day, or purchasing some high fiber cereal will all help you crave less food throughout the day and lend a hand to whittling your waist. Plus, it keeps you regular!

What color is your rose?

In my New Year of self discovery I have reacquainted myself with one of the greatest joys in my life. It may sound as if it should be a no-brainer, but in all the distractions I had packed into my day, I wasn't finding the time to enjoy a past time that has the ability to make me happy, excite me, fill me with movement, or even make me cry. I have reacquainted myself with music.

Before TV, DVDs, telephones, the Internet, and jobs that sucked the life out of us, music has been a part of our lives since the cavemen could bang two sticks together. Music has always been an important part of my own life, creating dance and choreography in my head, inspiring me, and getting me through times in my life when I thought 'no one understands me.' However, I lost some of the joy in my life when I stopped listening to my favorite tunes and discovering new ones that speak to me and bring me joy. In giving up TV and concentrating on what I truly love in life, I'm so happy that music, in mass quantities, has come back into my life.

So this is my grand thought for the day: do what makes you happy! Again, it sounds like a no-brainer, but so many people fill their life up with obligation, careers, relationships with friends and coworkers, making money, laundry, cooking dinner...all important aspects of living a fulfilling life, but should not overtake the simple joys. Whether it's playing a sport, writing in a journal, spending an hour in a coffee shop or bookstore, driving around the countryside, spending uninterrupted time with a best friend, going out to dinner, reading, playing an instrument, singing at the top of your lungs...whatever it is in your life that makes you feel as if you were going to burst with happiness - get back to that and make sure it's in your life. Create the time, consciously commit to making yourself happy, and don't feel guilty for taking the time out of your day when you "should" be doing something else. Isn't the saying "stop and smell the roses?" Find your rose, and make sure you stop and smell it!

For me, I now listen to music every possible second out of the day, but I have also made sure that I dance in every day, and write in every day, and talk to my best friends as much as I can, because those are the things that I absolutely love to do. Sure, making money is important, and I gotta get that laundry done, but there's no reason why I can't listen to music at the same time, and enjoy doing it!

A Winter Version of Salads

So everybody knows that salad is a great choice for lunch or dinner, hopefully including a protein along with the fiber rich vegetables and low fat choices you've put together. But, its winter time - and a nice, crisp, cold salad just doesn't sound all that appetizing to me on a bitter, windy evening.

Here is my solution: saute your salad! It creates an easy, 10 minute dinner, while getting all of the same nutrients as a salad, but in a comforting, pasta or soup-type way. Plus, no cooking skills are required - just the same chopping and tossing as a normal salad.

To start, spray your pan with olive oil cooking spray, or add a touch of olive oil to heat up over low to medium heat. Start off by cooking onions, carrots, peppers or broccoli first, anything that is thicker in texture and takes a little bit longer to cook through. When those vegetables are just getting soft and have a bit of brown on them, add your mushrooms, maybe some peas, tossing those in the pan and stirring often. Lastly, throw in your tomatoes, spinach and anything that will cook relatively fast. Especially with the heat of the other vegetables surrounding them tomatoes will warm up very quickly and spinach will wilt within a minute or two, just remember to keep stirring or tossing in your pan to ensure all your veggies are cooking equally. Now, add in some salad dressing (you'll find you need much less than on a regular salad), or some balsamic vinegar, or just some salt, pepper and basil if you want. Some melted low-fat mozzarella cheese works very well also, but is not necessary.

I like to add a Boca burger for 15 grams of protein, or maybe some shrimp or some fish to make sure that I get all of the nutrients I need with my dinner. This meal is incredibly satisfying and is nice and low in calories so I don't feel guilty for curling up on the couch with it. There are many variations to experiment with so as not to get bored: add some salsa instead of salad dressing along with some crumbled taco meat for a Mexican night, or throw in some whole wheat pasta and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese for an Italian twist. Any vegetable in your fridge will work, so you can have a different kind every night depending on what you're craving. Hopefully this will keep your winter dinners warm until we start craving nice, light salads again in the summer.

Have faith, have fun and have a full life for yourself

Over the last few months I have gone through a number of trials that seemed to really send my life off course and could have thrown me into a detrimental panic while spurring hours upon hours of needless worry. The short version: I quit my full-time, secure job with medical benefits and 401K for a life of fitness. I had a job lined up at a major gym, I was signed up for a certification to launch my career, and I was hired at a restaurant right up the street from my house to help me pay the bills while I transitioned my life into something I would enjoy. I had a plan, things were set, and I was really excited for my new life that I felt I was building myself.

Well, turns out I hated that restaurant and went through 2 more before I found one that I enjoyed (although it didn't make me the amount of money I wanted and I had to work 13 hour days just to pay the bills). Then I found out that restaurant was closing for renovations, and in another month I would once again be out of a job. Then, over Thanksgiving break with my family, I injured my knee and could not put any weight on it for two weeks which meant I couldn't work for most of the vital last month of the restaurant. It also meant I had to miss my certification class and put my new found career on hold. I was out of money, and out of medical benefits so I couldn't figure out what was wrong with my knee in the first place.

At other times in my life I would have used these events as an excuse to freak-the-hell-out. I would have cried, and worried, and probably had a panic attack or two, as high stress times usually give me as a terrifying present. But this time it was different; I was different. I decided to use this time, for reflection and reevaluation, and faith.

I used this time to regroup after the year I spent, miserable and stressed out at a job that I hated. I used it to really think about what I would like to do with my life, and would fitness fulfill everything I wanted? I relaxed, chatted with friends, and I believed that what was happening was for a reason. I trusted that life was giving me what I needed, even if it wasn't what I had planned for. It, of course, was very difficult some days. Many of my friends had different views of how I should be handling my situation, and most people in general do not understand my approach to life (including my very sensible and scientific father.) However, this is what happened:

I found a clinic right up the street who gave me free medical service and I was able to find out that there was nothing physically wrong with my knee and that I didn't need the surgery I was afraid of. My restaurant offered me a position at it's sister restaurant, which turned out to be my dream job! This new place requires me to work much less for about the same money, is easier on my knee and anxiety level, and allows me plenty of free time. My mother happened to be living with me at the time and had an influx of money so that she was able to help out with the rent and bills, instead of relying on me to make the bread for the household. Last but not least, the reflection period allowed me to reach the life changing decisions I discussed in yesterday's blog - I overhauled my life to be the person I wanted to be. I decided I finally wanted to go after writing as a career, because I was no longer doubtful of my skills and abilities to make money at doing something I loved. I realized that I never wanted to give in to fear as a reason not to follow my dreams. So, with my new schedule allowing me plenty of time and just enough money to get by, I embarked on beginning a career of working for myself and doing what I enjoy.

I look back now at the last few months of uncertainty and I can clearly see the path that I took to get here. I trusted in what was happening. I allowed the events to unfold without force. I didn't try to decide my own future, but in effect I was lead to make that decision for myself and not for money, or security, or because it made sense to other people. I don't believe I ever could have come to my life as it is now on my own, but I am so thankful that I allowed myself to trust and to grow as it was meant to happen. Now I believe I am the healthiest I have ever been, not because I'm working out more than ever (I'm not), or I have the flattest abs (I don't), or because my diet is perfect (it's certainly not); but because I am open to all possibilities. I feel a sense of calmness in my days and strength within myself, and I absolutely love what I am doing.

Healthy Maniac, new and improved.

I've decided to change the general goal of this blog. You see, this past New Years I have undergone quite a change myself, and while I believe this change has been brewing inside of me for some time now it is something I wish I had taken the initiative to do years ago.

What I've decided for myself, and for this blog, is to concentrate not on just a healthy body, or one aspect of health such as diet and/or exercise, but to form all of my decisions based on a healthy life, inside and out. I want a healthy mind, one that will be exercised actively every single day. I want a healthy inside, not just what can be viewed from the outside. And I want a healthy attitude, towards life and myself and others.

For those who don't know me, I am a couch potato. Any spare moment I could find I would lounge on my couch and watch TV, sometimes wishing I didn't have appointments with friends so that I could sit inside my house for even longer periods of time. TV became a crutch for me, the characters I watched everyday somewhat became my friends, and I no longer needed to find real sized people to hang out with - I had my mini ones, trapped inside my living room and available whenever I needed them. I could turn on a show and forget what was upsetting me, quit thinking about the annoying instances of the day, I could just zone. And so I did, I became addicted to TV and to not having to worry about anything. If I didn't have a few solid hours of TV time in my day, I felt overly stressed and deprived of my "me time."

However, I love to read. I love to dance. I love to write, and hang with friends, and cook and browse book stores and drink coffee and meet new people. I also am someone who needs to feel my emotions, and find outlets for the anger, sadness or stress I was feeling. All of these things were not getting proper attention in my life, because I was too focused on staying home and watching TV, snuggled on the couch, forgetting that real life existed. I was not using my mind for anything challenging, and I was ashamed of myself in many ways. I wanted to do the things I loved, but never 'found the time,' because I couldn't turn off the television set.

After realizing how detrimental this was, not only to my life but also my self esteem, I have decided to change my own life and dedicate myself to creating a person I could be proud of, and not just relax into a state of easy comfort. I turned off the TV, turned up the music, and turned into wwo I really wanted to be in life. I want to write! I want to make a serious go at freelancing for money, and I want all my self-doubts to be damned! I want to read more books; to feel educated and smart. I want to cook for myself more, and learn new ways to approach food and my diet. In the past two weeks I have overhauled my entire way of doing things, and in effect changed my own life for the better.

This change is what has inspired me to renew my blog with excitement, because I sincerely want others to feel as excited as I am about life, and change, and their goals. So I will be commenting not only on ways to renew the exercise animal within ourselves, but also on the ways I have found to truly enjoy life, and lead a healthy one - externally and internally. I hope that you all will find the strength within yourselves to make your life the best it can be, in new and challenging ways.

It's been a while...

The reason for my major lapse in blogging was pretty lame: laziness. Granted, I have injured myself, and basically I got frustrated thinking about what to write to help others stay healthy and fit when I could not take my own advice. It was selfish and not really conducive to what I ultimately want to do with my life: write! So, I am shelving my bitterness at not being able to do exactly what I want to do and once again, dedicate a portion of my week to coming up with interesting and fun ways to stay healthy and fit. I may just have to be a little bit more creative now that I can't run my four miles a day or lunge my way across the gym. But by golly, I'm gonna try! I hope you enjoy :)