Tell the Devil - "Go Pitchfork Yourself!"

About a week ago I wrote about my resolve to abstain from alcohol for one month and to change my attitude about alcohol altogether. Here's an update:

It's been two weeks since I made my commitment and I have remained resilient. I've participated in all the usual activities, including Saturday night at the bar and successfully relaxing after a stressful work night, simply without the traditional beer or glass of wine.

However, during these two weeks I have almost convinced myself several times that it would be OK to indulge just this once, just one drink, special circumstance, lost opportunity, blah blah blah. We all have the devil on our shoulders, telling us that its OK to eat that brownie, we don't need to go to the gym today, we really NEED that extra hour of sleep, or that alcohol will solve our problem.

The red horns and pitchfork showed up last night when I went out to sing karaoke, a favored past time of mine, that generally involves a least a few drinks. On the way there I got lost twice, adding a half an hour to my commute and boiling anger to my chest. I thought to myself "I'll just have one cocktail to calm me down; I'm not going to enjoy this night feeling like this and one drink will help; it's not so bad to have one drink in a month..." And then - I shut the devil up. I listened to a good song specifically to coax my attitude off of the anger ledge, and forced myself to take a deep breath. By the time I reached the bar I had experienced the calm that I would have attributed to having a drink, and I ordered a cranberry and club with a lime. Refreshing, alcohol free, and only cost me a $2 tip!

Another excuse I almost convinced myself was reason enough to break my sober month was the free wine I could have enjoyed on a special night at work. Five or six different wines that I have never experienced before were there for the taking, permission to drink during work was given, and I was pissed that this opportunity presented itself on the week I had decided to abstain. However, when I think about it, those opportunities present themselves about once a week - when I think "I'll have never this opportunity again; this time is special; I'll be missing out." Really? I experienced nothing less by not drinking wine on that night, and I will not look back when I'm 50 and think "Gee golly I wish I had had that glass of wine." So I resisted and have a longer lasting memory because I chose NOT to participate than I would have had giving in.

I don't necessarily think that everyone should give up alcohol, but I'm pretty sure that everyone has that one substance or activity that haunts them, tempting them to go further than they wish, creating that voice that urges them to change their mind and indulge 'just this once.' I know that voice well, and it takes constant commitment and strength to turn a deaf ear. But I can also say that doing so has given me a sense of pride that I haven't experienced in any of my endeavours so far. This simple choice, and sticking to it, has improved my self confidence tenfold. I now know that I posses strength in reservoirs I had not explored. We've all heard that humans only use 10% of their brain capacity, but I think that includes using only 10% of our will power, resilience, and inner strength. Choose to exercise those muscles of your emotional skeleton and you'll discover a new kind of backbone, a potent power, and a lasting courage to create the life that you want, and enjoy every moment of it.