For those who know me, I am a person who does not like to give up easily on the people in my life - and lately I've been wondering if this would be considered a healthy quality or detrimental to my emotional well being. Every person I've ever dated has fallen into my relationship graveyard after much distress and many attempts to throw them a lifeline and remain friends. It seems that I have a difficult time simply letting go, even those who have treated me badly or given me several reasons to rid my life of their presence and influence. I'm not sure why, but I feel that once I decide that someone is important to me, I cannot seem to reverse my opinion.
This is a trait that my close friends enjoy about me, but just now - as I am reminded of my ex boyfriend by a line in a song and resist the urge to contact him - I wonder if the trait is a healthy one. It's not that I want to keep these people around to simply rehash our failed relationship, I simply feel that having spent long periods of time together, sharing memories and large portions of ourselves with each other, shouldn't we at least remain in each other's lives as the kind of friends who check in once every few months and grab a cup of coffee once a year to catch up? Perhaps the reason why these people are not in my life has less to do with me and more to do with the type of person I date - the kind of person who has the capacity to treat me badly and who gives me reasons to rid them of my life - perhaps this type of person is simply not the 'friends after sex' type.
While I still maintain that if I think fondly of someone I should be able to send them a text with the line in a song that made me think of him and smile, my question becomes does this habit fall into the 'healthy lifestyle' that I not only pride myself on but preach to others?
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